Well, shit! She dumped you. That sucks. Now what?
If you currently find yourself in that situation, let’s talk about how to get back with your ex girlfriend. Every relationship is different and the specific steps you take to win your ex girlfriend back may be different from the next guy, but the same underlying principles always apply. So let’s take a look at a few things you SHOULD do and a few things you most definitely SHOULD NOT do if you want your girlfriend back.
1.) Don’t talk to your ex for a while. When I say “talk”, I mean all forms of communication. So that also includes things like email, chat, text messaging, flying banners from airplanes in the sky, etc. You need to lay low for a while. Not only does that give you time to get your emotions in check, it also gives her time to miss you. That’s HUGELY important if you want her to come back to you.
While you’re waiting and giving her time to miss you, here’s a tip: if you and your ex text a lot, then by all means, go try Text Your Ex Back by Michael Fiore. It’s terrific, and it will help you immensely. You can learn more about it at michaelfiore.org.
2.) Go out with friends instead of moping around like a depressed sloth at home. Yes, I get it. It sucks. It hurts. You don’t feel like doing anything. You don’t feel like seeing anyone. But sitting around depressed at home won’t win her back.
If you need a day or two, then take it. It’s ok to feel sad. That’s normal. But then it’s time to get back out there. Hang out with your friends. Go have fun. Genuinely ENJOY life with or without your ex.
3.) Fix your shit. Ok, maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s her. But I’ll bet it’s not ALL her, and it’s not ALL you either. Both of you probably made mistakes. Both of you probably have things you can work on and get better at.
So figure out what went wrong, and fix the things you can. If you don’t solve the problems that plagued the relationship before the breakup, then it won’t do any good to get back together because it will simply be wash, rinse, repeat.
4.) When it comes time to talk to your ex again, take things slow. There’s no fire, so cool the jets! There’s no need to rush. Don’t immediately jump into talking about the relationship. You need to build up the positive rapport again. Keep things light and fun.
If you’re not sure how to do that, use these text messages. They’ll confidently send all the right signals without making you look desperate, needy, or emotionally unstable.
Great question. Not an easy answer.
Clearly, it IS possible to win back the love of someone who just dumped you. I mean, it happens in the movies all the time, right?
Just look at “The Graduate”. Despite all of Benjamin’s indiscretions, errors, and shortcomings, Elaine still decides to take him back. Then, off they go to elope on a bus and live happily ever after.
It makes a great storyline for a movie, but is that reality? Would a “real-life” Elaine take back a “real-life” Benjamin? Maybe. Maybe not. Real life is much more complicated and much more painful when things go wrong. It’s full of conflict, compromise, and cooperation.
And that brings me back to the question, “Can you really get your ex back?”
Yes. Not always, but most of the time. It takes some careful planning, some creative tips and strategies, a positive outlook, and some counterintuitive thinking, but it’s most definitely possible.
One way to get there quicker without all the trial and error is to invest in a good get your ex back guide. These can help you avoid many mistakes. They break down the process of getting your ex back into step-by-step chunks. These guides take a lot of the stress, frustration, and confusion out of the equation.
The reason for this is simple: common sense is your worst enemy when it comes to getting your ex back. Just about everything in the process seems counterintuitive and backwards. If you rely on common sense or emotion to tell you what to do, it rarely turns out well.
For example, if you did something wrong, your first instinct might be to contact your ex to apologize, reassure them, or even beg them to take you back. Common sense tells us if we tell our ex just how much we love and care about them and show them how sorry we truly are, then they will take us back in a heartbeat.
But it doesn’t work that way…
Instead, you just end up looking needy, desperate, pathetic, and even parasitic. We all know parasites are gross and disgusting, and that’s exactly how your ex will view you.
Chasing your ex = bad. Cutting off contact and giving your ex space = good.
If you rely on common sense to get your ex back, you might also think giving them gifts is a good idea: like some sort of bribery will make them want to get back together. If they are a member of the Mexican Police, that might work. If not, I recommend against it.
Are you starting to see how following common sense and letting your emotions guide you can get you into a lot of trouble and push your ex further away?
If you truly love your ex and believe the problems in your relationship are fixable, then by all means try to get him or her back. Just do it smartly. It’s definitely possible to get your ex back if you know what to do.
Getting a girlfriend can happen pretty fast: often in just a couple weeks if you follow these girlfriend activation system main points. But just because she says yes to a second date doesn’t mean you’re dating exclusively, so don’t jump the gun and start calling her your girlfriend just yet.
Sure, she’s awesome. She’s pretty. She’s funny. She’s smart and cool as hell. You like her a lot because she’s like no other woman you have ever met. But jumping the gun too soon can be a huge turn-off.
It’s never a good idea to pin all your hopes on just one girl right from the get-go. She shouldn’t pin all her hopes on you, either. When this happens too early in a relationship, it becomes a huge turn-off because it makes you come across as desperate, needy, and “clingy”. And I don’t think I have to tell you that none of those create attraction.
Dating exclusively is a big deal. Sure, you might not be moving in together or doing anything crazy, but you need to make sure you’re ready before you make that kind of commitment to someone. If she’s amazing, you might feel ready by the second date, but you’re not. Trust me. If she likes you, then you’ve got time. Don’t rush it.
Here are some simple tips and guidelines to keep the relationship from getting too serious, too fast:
Don’t stop dating other women, and assume she’s dating other guys, too. Until you’re actually in a committed relationship, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with going on dates with more than one woman. In fact, it can make you much more attractive to the girl you want when other women also find you desirable.
Use this time to do some self-reflection and really figure out how you feel about her. Are you just feeling desperate to get a girlfriend? Are you only interested in her because you feel like your options are limited? Are you settling because you don’t want to be alone? Or do you really, really like this girl because she’s totally awesome and makes you feel amazing when you’re with her?
Keep the first few dates fun and casual. There will be time for deep conversation later. Focus on having fun and making her feel good rather than on starting up a “relationship”.
Getting a woman to say yes to a second date always feels amazing, especially when you really like her. But remember, that doesn’t make her your girlfriend. In fact, she may not even know if she really likes you that much yet. It just means you didn’t screw things up on the first date, and that means you’re off to a great start.